What are you talking about?
Have you ever heard the saying “The battle is won or lost in the mind”? This is such a powerful statement and personally I believe it to be true.
There is around 60,000 thoughts that we think in any given day. This is a mixture of what we think people are thinking about us, what people have said to us and what we say to ourselves about ourselves.
Ultimately all of the above will create belief systems. Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel you have too much to do and not enough hours in the day to complete it all.
Well, when I have one of those days I begin to have a victim mentality. It sounds a little like this “poor me, I have such a lot to do. It’s ok for them, they do not have all the jobs I have to complete. Look he has left the washing for me to do again, doesn’t he realise that I am busy too”
Wow, I this is exhausting! But, truth be told we can all have those conversations in our head. It’s draining and gives off a vibe of self pity. Before I became consciously aware of what I was saying to myself, it would manifest to others in the household as passive aggression.
I would then turn the internal monologue to a dialogue of “Its okay, don’t bother picking up all your dirty cloths, I will do it as I have nothing better to do” Or “Daniel (my eldest Son), I knew that you wouldn’t take responsibility for your Gerbils and it would be left to me or your Dad”. Adding the Dad on the end of the sentence was another stab at being passive aggressive and sharing the responsibility. The main aim of this passive aggressiveness was to remind him that the Gerbils cage needed cleaning out!
The result of the passive aggressiveness will leave you powerless and to be honest you will lose the respect of your family or whoever you are talking to. But the main point here is, we are not walking in our truth when we are saying one thing but really mean another. Be completely open and honest about how you feel and what you mean.
I have now learned that when I am feeling overwhelmed I need to talk about it with my husband or whoever I have a problem with.
When I talk to Richard (my Husband) about being overwhelmed he instinctively says “How can I help?”. Often the help looks like him keeping on top of the house work and making sure that he cooks that night.
In addition to this I now ask the children how I can best help them with organising their personal belongings. This way I am communicating that it is their responsibility, but as a parent I understand that it is my job to assist them with creating good habits.
From being upfront and honest and speaking out and not holding the internal chat in my mind, I have got my authentic power back. I am being true to myself about how I feel and am taking a VICTORY stance and giving two fingers to the Victim Persona.
So with this in MIND what you talking about?