“My past pain has become my present passion.”
My Life Now
I am happily married and have 3 wonderful boys. I have been married to my school sweetheart for 16 years and we both work alongside each other.
I want to share my story and start at the beginning of to show you that things were not so great and that I had to work extremely hard to break free from limiting beliefs and bad habits that i had formed in my life due to early childhood experiences.
Challenge & Trauma
My past has enabled me to enlighten and inspire others to believe that from their pain, there is an underlying purpose – nothing is wasted.
You may be asking, What is your pain?
It is always quite intriguing to find out what has gone on or what is going on inside the mind of another individual.
In short, my pain in life started early.
To cut a long story short by the age of 11, my parents had separated, I had suffered years of sexual abuse and my father was in prison for Manslaughter because he killed his brother and stabbed another man in self defence. For this crime he got 11 years.
My Mum turned to alcohol and drugs, resulting in her having mental health problems which included schizophrenia and depression.
So you may be able to imagine that by the age of 12 my belief systems were pretty messed up and limiting.
My Internal Reality
- Sexually Awakened
I believed men didn’t have emotions. If I gave myself to them, (in the only way I knew how) they would not leave me (false).
I believed I was to blame. I felt guilty, dirty and ashamed. I was desperately lonely and sad.
My reaction to these feelings were that I became:
- A bully
- A negative influencer
- Moody and unpredictable
My habits at this time
- Drinking alcohol
My friends at this time
Deep call’s to deep. I was attracting people that were like me.
One thing that all of the above showed me was that I had choices to make. I was well aware that what you do, good or bad comes full circle. Another way of putting this is we reap what we sow.
The Life Change
I began asking big questions and started getting some interesting answers.
There has to be more to life than this. What is it?
There is a whole Universe that ensures that creation prospers and expands. How much more valuable am I than a tree or the birds in a field? This lead me to search out my values.
What lessons can I learn from my past experiences?
I am a survivor, I am not to blame and I am not guilty. I have the power to change for the better. I am 100% in control over the choices I make, who I spend time with and what I do with my life.
What was going to make me happy?
Long term I wanted to help people that were hurting and sad like I was.
In school, I would seek out happy kids and make them sad because I was sad. This I learned is true of all people that cause harm to others.
It is an outward manifestation of our inward turmoil. So, if this was true, I was going to make it my life’s purpose to have a positive impact on people. I knew in order to do this, I had to start with dealing with my own internal reality and focus seriously on my personal development.
What kind of life did I desire to live?
I desired to live a life with honest integrity, to earn a living by following my passion to help people, to help them to become the best version of themselves.
I wanted my children to live a happy life, protected and loved.
What role did I desire to play in society?
I wanted to help people in my community from all backgrounds. To leave them feeling better than when I first met them.
How could my experiences help others?
I have learned that pain is real. That our environment, experiences and relationships shape our belief systems, impact the way we view life, affect and impact how we mature emotionally and that as individuals we have a choice to be the change that we desire to see happen.
Where I am Now
From analysing my life, I found where I was and where I wanted to be. I could then form a plan of self help. I educated myself, stopped bad habits and formed new healthy habits, ditched the bad friends and found new like minded friendships.
Constantly seeking to improve my personal and professional development. I decided to have a Can Do Attitude which has lead me to lead a fulfilled, happy life with my husband, 3 children and 3 cats.
- Health & Social Care Int/Adv Diploma.
- AMA Management
- NVQ 3 Personal & Professional Development
- NVQ level 2 & 3 Early Years Practitioner
- NVQ Youth Worker
- Level 2 & 3 Personal Trainer
- NVQ Community Development Work
- Life Coaching Qual (Coaching Acadamy)
- Events Coordinator
- Princes Trust Team Leader
- Housing Supervisor
- Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Cohesion Officer
- Co-owner of a Child Care Nursery
- Self employed Personal Trainer, Life Coach and Lifestyle Consultant
- YMCA World Executive Committee Member – Board of Directors
- YMCA England,
- Local Board Member YMCA
- Global Representative YMCA
- Sure Start, Chair
- Pudsey Tyersal Primary School Governor
- Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award
- Princes Trust Inspirational Leader Award
- Ofsted Rating Good
- Temple Spa, 3 Luxury Trips
Past Speaking Engagements
- YMCA National Council, Co Presenter
- YMCA European Youth Meeting, Prague, Key Role Speaker
- YMCA World Council Conference, South Africa
- Temple Spa, Wynyard Hall, Inspirational Talk
- Temple Spa, Waldorf Astoria London, Vision Boarding Workshop
- Private School Wellness Workshop Sessions & Vision Boarding Workshops
- Teacher Training Sessions
Hobbies & Interests
- Listening to Podcasts
- Fitness (Running, Weight Trining and Yoga)
- Walking in the woods
- Listening to Music (Jazz, Spa music, Queen, Elton John, Dance music, 80s)