Free Yourself from Self Sabotage.
Have you ever felt like you go 2 steps forward only to fall 3 steps back in things you try to achieve in life like weight loss, fitness or learning a new skill?
After years of self sabotaging I believe I have the keys to better understand it. But first let’s look at what it means to self sabotage – It’s an inside job.
What i mean by “It’s an inside job”? I mean that it starts inside your head. The voice of your inner critic may sound something like this, “You cannot do that”, “You do not need to do that”, “Nobody knows about this so don’t bother”, “You can start tomorrow”, “Whats the point”, “what if you fail” and “people are watching and judging you”.
The intention behind your inner critic is to keep you safe and prevent you from pain. But let’s be honest, if you truly desire to do something, you will push past the pain and therein lies the real sense of achievement and ultimate success.
So how do you make sure when you set a challenge e.g weight loss, start running, go to the gym, that you stick to it.
Working out what your inner critic says to you is most helpful as then you can learn to see the solution to the problem ahead of time so it doesn’t come as a surprise.
I would also suggest seeing the end goal in mind so, if for example you have a desire to get fit and lose weight, take time to imagine how you will feel when you do not get out of breath running up stairs or fit into your nice new jeans. How will you feel when you try on the next size down in a beautiful dress and it feels loose. Where will you go in your new cloths?
When you put a narrative to your end goal and attach emotion to it, you are creating energy in motion. If you believe in the power of the law of attraction then what you are doing is giving off a vibration of empowerment, wellness, success, optimism and a sense of accomplishment. The only thing you have to do is believe, then work with your inner mentor to set realistic goals.
It’s also important to be aware of outside influences. Sadly our work colleagues can hamper our efforts by bringing cakes into the office. Partners can suggest getting a take out meal or going to the movies and friends can organise meals out with cocktails. In order to work around this and not sabotage our gains, I would be honest and let them know your desired goal and ask them to support you. You never know, you may inspire a tribe of other women or men to join you.
Now let’s look at your inner mentor. Her/His role is to help you achieve a life beyond your wildest dreams. Her voice however, is not as loud as the inner critic so it’s important to listen when you ask her a question.
I encourage you to sit for 5 minutes to some soft music and begin to settle your breathing. I like to breath in for 7, hold for 6 and breathe out for 5. Then once in a nice rhythm of breathing, begin to ask your inner mentor questions like what exercise should I do to get fit and loose weight? What is my ideal weight? What foods should i give up? What foods should I start eating? What is a realistic time frame for me to see results? Be still and wait for her still small voice. Have a pen and paper at the ready and take note of what she says to you.
I am a firm believer, that all we need for success lies within us, so to avoid self sabotage be consciously aware of the voices in your head. One voice will paralyse your potential (inner critic) and the other will propel you towards all of your hopes and desires (inner mentor). You choose which voice you respond to.
If you can work out what you are truly scared of, examples include failure, success, not good enough, then the best way to over come this is through positive self talk which can sound like this: I am enough, I deserve to be happy, I am unique, I am successful, I achieve all that i put my mind to. Self care and self talk is Smart, so to stop the self sabotage try the above and let me know how you get along.
I recommended you read Playing Big by Tara Mohr