Windows of the Soul
Have you ever been in a position where you observe someone doing something amazing and secretly, you know that you should be happy for them but you cannot help but feel insecure and inadequate?
Initially there is a sense of admiration but at the depths of your soul you feel unworthy and not enough. A narrative begins to form which sound like this, “you will never be as good as them”, “Look how great they are” and “They have skills, but you have none”.
This then leads to you having imposter syndrome in your workplace, within your social circle and with family members. You feel like you are faking it and one day you are going to get caught out.
Have you ever wondered what this is all about and where it’s all coming from? The obvious answer is it’s your thoughts, and they are leading you to feel the way you do, which in turn causes you to act differently and sadly you lose sight of your true identity.
Personally, I am of the belief that we all have a special part to play whilst on planet earth. However, if we look at others through the eyes of insecurity and inadequacy we cannot grow into our true purpose. But if we instead choose to look at people through a lens of inspiration and admiration the outcome could be that they inspire you and as a result you commit to becoming obsessed with getting better and becoming the best version of yourself.
Why Am I Like This?
I am going to take a few moments to go a little deeper into answering the question of where this all comes from. All of us have an inner critic, this personality type is generally formed out of trauma or a negative encounter we have had, generally in childhood. This then forms the basis of how we view the world.
In any given day we have around 6,000 thoughts. If these thoughts were to form a book it would take an average of 7 days and would equate to 42,000 words. What would your book be like? Would it be a drama, horror, comedy or an adventure?
Here is the question, where do these thought patterns come from? The answer is simple, what your family, friends, teachers, and bullies have said to you about you, what you say to you about you and what you think others are saying or thinking about you.
For the first 7 years of your life, your brain is like a sponge and absorbs everything. These then form belief systems, habits and in turn behaviour patterns. These are called Paradigms. This then forms the basis of how you view life and how you believe others view you.
If as growing up you were told you are silly, you are clumsy and you’re not as good as your siblings, the consequences of this would most likely be that you would also begin to tell yourself you are silly, you have to be careful not to make mistakes and that you do not measure up. This would lead to you thinking this is what others think of you. This example will result in you having limiting beliefs about yourself and stop you fulfilling your true potential.
With this mindset you are programming yourself to compare yourself to other from a self-doubting perspective.
Making the Change.
This is the exciting part.
When you begin to become conscious of your thinking patterns, you have the power to change it. You can do this by creating some positive affirmations, stop thinking what others maybe thinking of you and begin to focus your thoughts on becoming the best version of yourself and making positive plans for your future.
You may be asking what affirmations are. Affirmations are statements where you make a declaration of what you desire to be. We know that words are powerful and define who we become, it makes sense that we create words that serve us well and use these to reprogram our beliefs.
If you are wondering what your inner critic says to you, I have attached a PDF where you can follow some questions. These may give you the answers you have been looking for or at least answer some of the questions that I have added in this blog.
My next blog will be looking at the beauty of the inner mentor. So keep your eyes peeled and let me know how you get along with the PDF.